May 1

May 1 Out-of-work label manufacturer – please give generously

It’s hard to imagine now but there was a time when a luxury brand was instantly recognisable. You didn’t need to be told that the jacket was made by Chanel, the dress by Balenciaga, and the ‘le smoking’ by Yves St Laurent. It was clear because every house had its distinctive approach and every design was part of a carefully-controlled evolution. Often this was because the house was still under the control of its eponymous designer but in other cases, it was because shrewd management understood that clients wanted continuity. They wanted new pieces and fresh designs - evolution as opposed to revolution.

Perhaps they still do. But they don’t matter, because the focus is on growing revenues. And long-term clients who buy one or two pieces a year won’t do that. What’s required are new customers with questionable taste and significant budgets, people whose idea of fashion history is wearing last year’s Balenciaga sneakers, and who won’t be satisfied until they have bought every piece in every colour.

But there’s a problem. If nobody can recognise one brand from another, how will you persuade them to pay excessive amounts for anonymous products? Initially, a discreet logo worked. This quickly evolved into a less-than-discreet logo, sometimes worked into a pattern, allowing it to cover the entire garment, bag or shoe. Sadly, even this has proved insufficiently obvious for the houses’ increasingly challenged customers.

Nowadays, brands have formed a new relationship with their customers. Houses will print their names across every spare piece of fashion real estate they can find while customers, in their enthusiasm to demonstrate their financial wherewithal and corresponding lack of style, have agreed to become walking billboards for their favourite brands. It’s a big win for the brands. Why bother designing anything distinctive if your clients are happy to be seen in the fashion equivalent of a football shirt?

Since I can’t beat it, I will join it. Please buy my new tee shirts shown below, a snip at £650. On the front it either says, “Vulgar and expensive” or “The end of the world is nigh”.