Christmas Holidays

If you are looking for a financial detox, you might try wandering through a sink estate wearing your Rolex. Alternatively, if you want to be sure of a significant dent in your net worth, try booking a holiday over Christmas and New Year. If you do decide to commit financial suicide, here are some tips to help you make it home.

When you decide on that last-minute Swiss break and the helpful hotelier tells you that the snow is wonderful, log onto the nearest webcam. In my experience, Swiss hotelier’s long vision deteriorates when their hotel is empty.

If you are staying in a hotel over Christmas, make sure it is possible to eat the usual menu at the normal prices. I speak from experience. I was staying in Paris at a well-known five-star hotel which told me that the only dinner being served on Christmas Day was a set menu at €900 per head. Of course, I could also eat in the gourmet restaurant but sadly, it was even more expensive… Also, while the helpful reservations clerk is apologising that it is impossible for them to charge less because nobody wants to work at Christmas, why don’t you ask them to guarantee that all the facilities of the hotel will be available for your stay. Because, unless you are staying in a ski resort, it is a racing certainty that the spa, pool, hairdresser, creche, etc. will be closed for the ….’holidays’.

Lastly, whatever you do, don’t sign up for the New Year’s Eve Gala. It will be more expensive than the Christmas dinner and you can rest assured that you will find yourself sitting next to a Polish car dealer and his Venezuelan girlfriend. I have nothing against car dealers, Poles, or Venezuelans but I would rather choose my New Year’s Eve companions. Better yet, I would prefer to stay at home. New Year’s Eve is Amateurs Night.